Weekend Reading (& Goals)

I've been slacking when it comes to blogging and reading lately, so I decided to share my weekend plans with you guys. Hopefully by typing it all out, I will actually stick to doing what I want to do these next few days.

First of all, one of the most important things I need to do is read. I thought I would have finished A History of Glitter and Blood by this week, at the latest, yet I only started it last night. This one definitely has to be finished before July 1 if I want to complete my monthly goal of reading only diverse books. I don't want to fail before the month even begins, but I won't put aside a review book due to a challenge I set for myself, either.

Next, I need to type up some reviews! I'm never behind on reviews, I always write them right away ... And yet, this past month I have let myself put off reviews to the point where I have about three or four sets of notes just sitting around, waiting to be typed into actual posts. And while I know that isn't a lot for some bloggers, for me it definitely is! I never get more than two reviews behind. Last week, I actually had to change my post schedule simply because I didn't have a review ready that I thought would be finished by then. (And I was too lazy to write it, still!)

My third weekend goal is to take some book photos. I've realized that posts on my new blog take much longer. Mostly, because it has made me more passionate about blogging again. I like my new ideas and I want to spend time on them. But also, pictures. I can only take them during the day, when there's sunlight. (At least, if I want a decent picture.) So while I can post reviews to this blog whenever, I have to be more careful about scheduling reviews on BookMatcher. I can't do them so last-minute, unless I have pictures ready beforehand. Which I will, because there is no way I will have reviews ready on time if I don't. I'm a procrastinator!

Finally, my last goal is to keep up with planning my novel for Camp NaNoWriMo. I've come up with some great ideas the last few days and I'm really getting to know my characters well, but I'm lacking some of the research I'll need to write the story -- and I don't want to be spending hours of writing time next month doing research I could have done now. I also need to develop some side characters I've been neglecting.

And that's all for me! What are your plans for the weekend? Is anyone else participating in Camp NaNoWriMo next month? 

Deleting Accounts and Growing As A Writer

After years spent on the site, I just deleted all but one of my accounts on Wattpad. I hadn't posted anything in three months and, even then, there was little I felt willing to share. So I did not think this would be a big deal for me. I did not think I would feel the need to post on my blog about it.

I began on that website in my early teens - I think I was either thirteen or fourteen, which means I joined either five or six years ago. At first I only read stories, the very popular ones on the site that were usually cliche. Then I got back into writing again on my own. Admittedly, most of my work at that time mimicked the popular fiction I saw on the site - back then, those cliches seemed genius.

Some time passed, and I began posting my work for others to see and comment on. I learned, slowly, how to interact with others on the site in a way that advertised my work and brought me reads and comments. It was the coolest thing in the world when one of my stories gained 100 views.

Fast-forward and I find the message boards, and I learn about critiques. Fast forward a long time - probably a year or two - after that, and I have learned how to accept critiques, how to take the parts I need from them, how not to be hurt every time someone criticized my work.

Now, I've known for awhile that the site was not helping my writing anymore. I have quit a few times, but the old accounts were always there to come back to. I also made new accounts - during my deletion, I got rid of four of them, and kept one simply for the name, even though I'll likely never return to it.

Since this last time I left, knowing it was final, I knew I should delete the accounts. I don't want people reading my old work anymore. I don't want to post new work anymore, not online for free. My writing can go further than that. It's worth more than that.

It was a surprise to me that, as I signed in and deleted each account, I felt emotional about it. But as I type this post - that hopefully makes sense, and doesn't just read like I'm rambling - I guess I realize why. Even though myself and my writing are far past that stage, even though I want to go new places, that site helped me so much. I always knew that, but looking back ... It gave me the strength and confidence to share my work and accept feedback. That isn't a small thing. And sharing my work with others became such a large part of my writing process, for such a long time.

It's over, for now. I won't be sharing another completed work until I am a published author. I've never liked change much, and this is a large one, although I'm definitely headed in the right direction.

I think that's all I have to say, but you guys should let me know if you've had any similar experiences to this one, or maybe just about a challenge or a change you've faced when writing. Have you ever shared your work online, and has it helped you grow as a writer?

My Biggest Writing Fear

This is my first writing post on the blog in a long time. My creative writing has gone downhill in so many ways - quantity and quality both. In writing, I think they go together.

One of the most popular bits of writing advice is to write daily. Usually, this is not difficult for me. But lately I have hardly written at all. I'm lucky to sit down and try to write once a week - and that's not saying that the words come. It just means that I read over the last chapter written, decided it sucks, and closed the document.

I know writer's block is a thing. I know that, to overcome it, I should just keep writing. But my inspiration is gone. Most of my old ideas don't capture my interest anymore, and I lack new ones. After I finished my NaNoWriMo novel (which I also no longer like), I could not decide on a new project.

My biggest writing fear has always been that I stop writing. Any ideas for new work disappears and I never write again. Whenever I don't feel like writing, I think of this fear.

So it's been on my mind quite often lately. I need something, anything, to get me out of this block. Maybe (probably) I just need to sit down and write. It's easier said than done, but I have to start somewhere.

If you're a writer, you should let me know what helps you to write. What brings you back to your work every day? 

Also, what is your biggest writing fear?

My Problem With Writing Blogs

Awhile back, I discovered writing blogs -- specifically, those that are meant to provide a resource for and help writers. I subscribed to these like crazy. They filled my Bloglovin' feed, I subscribed to a bunch of email subscriptions...

As I'm typing this post, I am taking a break from unsubscribing to nearly all the writing blogs I followed. I just don't feel like they were helpful.

The main problem I've found is that blogs are seeing writers as customers. In itself, it's not a bad thing. We all like making a profit from what we do, and I see absolutely no problem with it.

But when I'm getting daily reminders to buy the newest product from something that I subscribed to for information, I have a problem. I feel like I'm getting spam emails, rather than valuable information.

Even worse (for me), is when I see an interesting blog post title. I click it and find that it's a quick list of unhelpful "solutions" to common writing problems. Or it's the same advice that I could find in a quick Google search. The posts aren't quality.

I don't want to sound like every writing blog is like this. I just found the wrong bunch of them and grew overly excited. I love talking about writing, and I love hearing different views. I don't want a post about outlining a novel that says, "Well, some people have detailed outlines. Some people don't outline at all." I don't want common knowledge shoved at me like it's new information.

As a summary, I've just learned to be wary of writing blogs that sell things -- especially writing help books, which seem to be everywhere. And now I'm on the search of new writing blogs to follow. They don't have to be all about writing -- I like when blogs have a variety of content. I'm just looking for something that feels genuine.

If you guys know any great writing blogs, please let me know. Once I've found a nice bunch of them, perhaps I can post about what I love in a writing blog!

Self Esteem and Writing

This is a topic that has been on my mind for quite awhile. Months back, I noticed a shift in my self-confidence - I started to feel a lot better about myself than I had in awhile. And I could not help but notice the benefit this had on my writing.

I almost wrote a post then, but I'm glad I waited - because I have so much more to say now.

Just a few minutes ago - before I rushed to my laptop to type this post - I was thinking about how many authors are known for their low self-esteem, often accompanied by a mental illness of some sort. I also thought about this quote:

"Only bad writers think that their work is really good."

This quote has been a comfort to me during the times that I hate my writing. It has made my thoughts go from this is awful to but if I think that, it must be great! And, admittedly, afterwords to: But now I think it's great ... Am I a bad writer?

I have also come across it in times when I love what I write. Sometimes, I go back and read previous work. And if it's been written in the past couple of months, I usually enjoy reading it! Any further back and I cringe, aside from the odd piece here and there. But does my enjoyment of something I gave a lot of time and effort to a bad thing? Should I not feel proud, like my time was worth it?

Here is another thought I had about this quote:

Maybe, writers with bad self-esteem do have better work - because they have motivation to improve. 

This made sense to me, in that brief thought. If you think something is great, why should you work to make it better? Why put more effort into something that, in your eyes, has already hit its highest potential?

Personally, I believe that you stop improving the moment you think you are good enough. This could apply to anything, not just writing. If have the mindset that you are great at something, that you cannot improve, you won't.

And yet, is that really what having a good, healthy self-esteem means? Can you not think I am good at this but also I can improve this? Do those thoughts never run together?

I believe that a good self-esteem helps writers.

It helps us get words onto a page - because we are not as worried about failure. It expands our ideas, because we are not so anxious about what others will think while reading. We are not constantly wondering if we are correct - not because we don't care, or are writing awful work, but because we know it can be fixed.

A writer with a good self-esteem is also more open to feedback. When you're not taking criticism personally, it's a lot easier to take good advice and use it to improve. It also makes it easier to throw away advice that doesn't work for you or your writing.

Personally, once I began feeling more confident about myself and my writing, it opened me up to so many topics I was afraid to write before. I cared less about writing things "the wrong way" and was able to focus on the stories I wanted to tell.

So, no, I don't think "only bad writers think their work is good." I think you can consider your work horrible, and still be an awful writer. And you can think your work is great, and be right.