Thursday, January 29, 2015

Self Esteem and Writing

This is a topic that has been on my mind for quite awhile. Months back, I noticed a shift in my self-confidence - I started to feel a lot better about myself than I had in awhile. And I could not help but notice the benefit this had on my writing.

I almost wrote a post then, but I'm glad I waited - because I have so much more to say now.

Just a few minutes ago - before I rushed to my laptop to type this post - I was thinking about how many authors are known for their low self-esteem, often accompanied by a mental illness of some sort. I also thought about this quote:
"Only bad writers think that their work is really good."
This quote has been a comfort to me during the times that I hate my writing. It has made my thoughts go from this is awful to but if I think that, it must be great! And, admittedly, afterwords to: But now I think it's great ... Am I a bad writer?

I have also come across it in times when I love what I write. Sometimes, I go back and read previous work. And if it's been written in the past couple of months, I usually enjoy reading it! Any further back and I cringe, aside from the odd piece here and there. But does my enjoyment of something I gave a lot of time and effort to a bad thing? Should I not feel proud, like my time was worth it?

Here is another thought I had about this quote:
Maybe, writers with bad self-esteem do have better work - because they have motivation to improve. 
This made sense to me, in that brief thought. If you think something is great, why should you work to make it better? Why put more effort into something that, in your eyes, has already hit its highest potential?

Personally, I believe that you stop improving the moment you think you are good enough. This could apply to anything, not just writing. If have the mindset that you are great at something, that you cannot improve, you won't.

And yet, is that really what having a good, healthy self-esteem means? Can you not think I am good at this but also I can improve this? Do those thoughts never run together?
I believe that a good self-esteem helps writers.
It helps us get words onto a page - because we are not as worried about failure. It expands our ideas, because we are not so anxious about what others will think while reading. We are not constantly wondering if we are correct - not because we don't care, or are writing awful work, but because we know it can be fixed.

A writer with a good self-esteem is also more open to feedback. When you're not taking criticism personally, it's a lot easier to take good advice and use it to improve. It also makes it easier to throw away advice that doesn't work for you or your writing.

Personally, once I began feeling more confident about myself and my writing, it opened me up to so many topics I was afraid to write before. I cared less about writing things "the wrong way" and was able to focus on the stories I wanted to tell.

So, no, I don't think "only bad writers think their work is good." I think you can consider your work horrible, and still be an awful writer. And you can think your work is great, and be right.

13 comments:

  1. That was quite a beautiful post. And I think you're totally right! Why should we be criticising ourselves all the time? If we're good at something, we should be proud of ourselves! I know that I've sat down and just wanted to give up because I think what I'm writing is terrible. I have countless unfinished stories all over the place. Hopefully if I believe it's a good idea, I'll actually stick to it more!
    I also try my best not to compare myself to other people. My best friend is a huge overachiever, and it's really disheartening to try something when she's already done it 100 times better. So I need to stop doing that!

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    1. Thank you! And I think we all have tons of unfinished work -- personally, I just get bored with ideas. Sometimes, I give up altogether and other times I'll come back and finish/rewrite it years later!

      That's definitely good advice. I think that's the worst -- seeing someone so much better and knowing you'll never write that way. (Which is actually a good thing, because we all have our own styles/ideas.) But, there are always people who are less talented at something than you, as well. We tend to focus more on those who are better, though, when we start comparing!

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  2. That was such a good post. I have such bad self esteem regarding my writing . . . and pretty much everything else. Ha. But I think it can be a good thing because it keeps you humble. If I am not comfortable with my writing, then I will always be trying to improve it. On the other hand, I could probably write a masterpiece and still think it could be better.

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    1. I go back and forth. Mostly I think I have a fairly healthy level of self-esteem, but we all can be too hard on ourselves at times.

      I'm the same though, about the masterpiece -- I'm always my own worst critic.

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  3. Oh, this post; it was golden. I think there's a fine line between being cocky about your writing and thinking it doesn't need improvement, and having good self-esteem and confidence in your writing. It's not good to be cocky about writing and think that it is too good because all writing needs improvement. That said, when you've improved as much as you possibly can, it's good to sit back and say "Yea, this is good." because you've earned it. Self-esteem lifts you up as a writer, which gives you the confidence to share you writing, and that is so important.

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    1. Thank you! I definitely think there's a difference between being confident and being cocky. I do think there are problems with believing you improved as much as you can, though. I think, when one project is as good as you can make it at the moment, you should call it finished and be proud, and move onto the next. But I think your goal for the next project should be to be better than the last, instead of 'as good' as the last, if that makes sense? Just my opinion - I think it's good to always keep growing.

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    2. Exactly. There is always room for improvement, but like you said, writers also have to learn to let go of perfection at some point and release a project after working so hard on it.

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  4. Another very worthy discussion post! I think that self esteem is good. You should always like what you are writing - otherwise, why do you even bother writing it? But I do think it is good to be able to see where improvement is needed, because there is always room to improve. It doesn't make you a bad writer, necessarily. Just an aware one.

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    1. Thank you! I definitely agree - it's good to be aware of your faults, so that the writing improves.

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  5. Good self-esteem is crucial for me when it comes to writing. When I feel bad about what I've written, I don't feel the need to go make it better, but rather think, "What's the point, this is crap". When I like what I'm writing, then the motivation is there. Although I don't think I'll ever think I'm "good enough" - there are always things you can improve on (character development, dialogue, descriptions), and that's a good thing, because you keep learning.

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    1. Oddly, I can keep going either way - so long as I like the initial idea, I don't necessarily need to like the writing itself. But it does help motivate me to write more often if I think I'm doing a good job.

      I agree that it's great to keep learning - I think one of the great things about writing is that you can never really know everything about it. There will always be something new to learn, some way to be better.

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  6. Wow, what a wonderful post. I agree with everything. What stuck most with me was this:

    "Sometimes, I go back and read previous work. And if it's been written in the past couple of months, I usually enjoy reading it! Any further back and I cringe, aside from the odd piece here and there. But does my enjoyment of something I gave a lot of time and effort to a bad thing? Should I not feel proud, like my time was worth it?"

    YES. YES. YES. As writers, we should always be proud of the effort we put into something, regardless if we think it came out "bad". The first book I ever wrote is, arguably, a ridiculous beast, but I will never not be proud of it, because I love it--I love the me that was happy writing it, and the genuine heart & effort I put into it. As writers, we pour our souls into our writings, and it will always be worth it.

    Again, wonderful post. Bookmarking!!!

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    1. Thank you!

      I even like looking back on my old, horrible work sometimes -- it's just that feeling of remembering exactly where you were when writing it, that I think is really cool. And I'm with you on the first book thing -- I recently finished my first novel, and there will never be a time when I'm not proud of it, if only because of the word count.

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