Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Should Bloggers Follow the "Do Not Engage" Rule?

If you have seen any of the drama concerning authors and reviews, I think you've probably read these words: "Do not engage."

Now, they're always directed at the author. It's really a number one rule for authors who choose to read their reviews. You want to know what people are saying? Fine. You want to argue about their opinion of your book? Don't.

But one thing I sometimes think in these circumstances is, Why does the reviewer keep responding? This isn't to say that these reviewers are wrong, or that they're handling the situation badly. Often times, they're not. I have seen many circumstances when a reviewer (and often times others who have joined the comments) are actually trying to help the author. But in doing so, aren't they making the situation bigger and bigger? Aren't they engaging in a conversation that they're advising the author not to?

Maybe this comes from me being an aspiring writer, myself. I have posted my writing online for a very long time - from the first, awful stories, to poetry, to blog posts. Right now, my blog is the only place where I share my writing publicly. But maybe the rules from before are still an instinct for me.

The thing is, I had that experience in writing communities. Not often, but every once and awhile, someone hateful will comment on your work. They're not there to provide constructive criticism - they just want to tell you how awful the writing is, and move on. I never responded to these comments. And although I have not received any hateful comments while blogging, nor have I been contacted by an author regarding a negative review, I feel that I would do the same as I've always done: Delete the comment, and move on.

This stems from my thinking that my space online is just that: My space. I don't need the negativity. I don't need to argue if someone comes into my area of the internet and starts causing problems. I don't need to tell them they are wrong. I feel it's rather like someone coming into your house and trying to argue. I wouldn't feel the need to explain to a stranger why they are wrong for coming into my home unannounced, and I wouldn't begin speaking to them about why I disagree with any opinions they decide to share with me. Why? Because they are in my space, uninvited. So I'm going to call the police and have them removed from my home. I'm going to press delete, and remove them from my space.

But I understand that this doesn't always work, and that some people just don't want to do that. Some people feel really awful when they ignore others. (I'm one of them, honestly!) Others just want to explain things to the author and give them the benefit of the doubt that they don't know they're wrong. No matter the reasons, I understand that my way of thinking does not work for everybody. I'm not saying everyone should handle things the way I think I would. (Because honestly, this is a hypothetical situation ... Sometimes we act different when we're actually involved.)

I just wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere about this, because it's been sitting in my head for quite some time, and I've finally found a way to put it into words. And I would love if we could discuss this further in the comments. Do you guys think bloggers/reviewers should follow the writer's rule to not engage in things like this? Should reviewers ignore author comments to avoid drama, or do you think authors should be called out and spoken to when they choose to comment on a review?

I don't think there's really a 'right' answer here, just opinions. But I would be so happy to hear your thoughts!

10 comments:

  1. I might be a little harsh here, just a little warning. I absolutely agree with you with regards to bloggers and not engaging. For an author, they often have people (publishers, agents, etc) telling them not to engage, but bloggers do not have a hierarchy and thus there is no one to tell us not to engage but ourselves. The blogging community is a lot larger than the community of authors and (I hesitate to say it, but I'm going to) when I think about the blogging community, especially when talking about those who mostly read YA, there are a lot of young and immature voices. Yes, you can be immature at any age, but younger generations have grown up in a world where they are encouraged to be heard (twitter, instagram, tumblr, etc) and so I'm not surprised when they speak up. Like you, I have zero interest in engaging a hostile author or a hostile commentator for that matter, but I do know not everything is built like me, so they may feel the need to defend themselves and in many cases "defending" oneself is expressed in a rather aggressive way. I don't recommend it because from my point of view, neither side is going to be able to persuade the other if it's a hostile conversation. It's a waste of time and is often detrimental to yourself. Great discussion!

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    1. I totally agree with your point, Alicia! Some people feel as though they are more "anonymous" on the internet as well, and this might lead them to feel like they have the power to say whatever they please without any repercussions. I think we all just need to think a little more before we speak- or type, for that matter. If we wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of our comment, then it might be best to not write it at all. Awesome discussion post!

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    2. I completely understand what both of you are saying. I do understand why some bloggers engage - and I actually don't usually see them being nasty about it! Most people (that I see) are just trying to reason with authors, who usually can't be reasoned with. Although I HAVE seen a couple of occasions when an understanding is formed and I get proud of the author + blogger when that happens - it's nice to see real discussions taking place where both sides listen to one another! But most times, that's not the case unfortunately.

      And that is a good point about young bloggers and growing up online. Social media does invite you to share too much, in a way, to expect to be 'heard.' That said, I've seen plenty of young people/bloggers handle themselves well online, and plenty of adults act poorly - so like you said, Alicia, it's not always an age thing.

      I really liked your last couple lines as well - "neither side is going to be able to persuade the other if it's a hostile conversation." I think that's something that's often not understood in these types of conversations, when everyone is trying to change others' points of view.

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    3. That's a great point, Holly! Bloggers have the luxury of anonymity which authors do not. We would all benefit from thinking before speaking in all areas in my opinion.

      I agree, Katie, it's more about the online environment which we live in that plays a big role in these kind of arguments. It's just so easy to share your opinion, whether you're trying to make a point or if you're only interested in arguing. Generally speaking, if you are yelling at someone (whether verbally or online), you're trying to be heard rather than listening and you need both in order to solve a problem you have with someone.

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  2. I totally agree with the "Do not engage" rule. Honestly, no good is going to come from that. Just forget about it, and move it. I don't think there's anything wrong with ignoring comments that are mean because more often than not, these people are just looking for a fight (note: I'm not referring to comments that disagree, but rather ones that are just plain cruel.) Awesome post!

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    1. Yes, definitely! Mean comments should be ignored completely - I just don't think they're worth the time, or getting upset over.

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  3. I wholeheartedly agree. Why do people always need to engage in arguments? Rarely is a person persuaded to change their mind during an argument.

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    1. I think it's usually for that reason - to change minds. But you're right, it rarely happens!

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  4. I think this is such a good thing to say out loud. It can be easy to feel like we *have* to say something but as much as there are things you want to or could say, you don't *have* to respond. I like your point that this is my space and I have the power to completely ignore people who are negative.

    As a budding author, I haven't had anyone be negative or mean. Well, I did have 1 one star review but it just made me laugh and celebrate that a complete stranger read my book and now I'm a real author because they didn't like it :) But it's good to practice the discretion of not responding now when hardly anyone is looking. Because hopefully then it will be easier when (again hopefully) lots of people are looking.

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    1. That's definitely a great way to look at things -- not everyone will like your work, and it DOES mean you've made it as a real author if people are reading and giving negative reviews. It means strangers are buying your work, which is the goal!

      And I can imagine it's probably much easier to get used to not responding on a small scale first!

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