I'm sure that most of you who comment frequently have realized this already: I reply to all comments, but I do not comment back on others' blogs.
That's not to say that I don't check out the blogs of those who comment on my posts, or that I don't comment on other blogs.
I really appreciate every comment I get. I check my email (too) often, and when I see a blog comment it always makes me smile. I read them right away, even though it sometimes takes me awhile to reply. But I never want people to feel obligated to reply to my posts. I don't want anyone to comment as a payment, or because they want me to check out (or return to) their blog.
And I feel like that's what commenting back does. It leads to this obligation to say something, even if there is nothing to say. It feels like I'm begging someone to return and comment again, which I DO want them to do - but that should happen because my posts keep them coming back. Because they want to be here. Not because we're in this silly comment-trading spree.
I have never commented back, but when I began blogging I did type a lot of pointless comments. It wasn't for followers or anything like that - I just genuinely wanted to say something. I wanted to let bloggers know that I read and enjoyed their posts. But how many times could I say on a Top Ten Tuesday, "I read that book too!" How many times could I say, "Great review! I also loved this book."
It just grew old. I have to admit, I rarely comment on blog posts anymore. I'm trying to get better at thinking of things to say that matter, that I haven't typed time and time again. I know from experience how much bloggers love comments; I just don't want to say nothing in my reply!
I would love to discuss this further in the comments. Do you comment back? How often do you comment on other's blogs at all? (Funny that I'm asking you to comment about how much you comment, isn't it?) Do you ever feel repetitive, or do you usually have something unique to say?
This is a really interesting post, and one I'm sure that will result in a lot of mixed opinions.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand the feeling that you don't want comments as "payment". I get that a lot too. I usually don't comment back, because people who comment on my posts are from blogs that I read and comment on regularly anyway. The one time that I do is on Top Ten Tuesday posts, and that's usually just so that the person knows that I did take the time to look at their post - which can be frustrating when there's already about 15 other people who have said exactly what I want to say lol.
When I first started blogging, I hated commenting because I never knew if I was being formal enough, but now that I'm getting more comfortable in the community, I find that I'm commenting a lot more - even on the blogs of people I'm not friends with. So, I guess in that way, I'm the opposite of you!
So, yes, comments are nice and I can understand the sentiment of "commenting back", but I would honestly rather have no comments than a comment that basically says "I'm only commenting out of obligation and have no real opinion to share".
A lot of times when I go to comment I end up feeling the same way you do on Top Ten Tuesdays - if I look at others' comments, I end up seeing that they're saying the same things I was going to!
DeleteI definitely see why you would comment more now that you're comfortable with it - maybe I'm just not there yet?
And yes I do see the reasons bloggers would comment back - but like you said, why comment if there's nothing to say?
Well,I agree with whole "commenting out of obligation" concept, but I do firmly believe in commenting back. When I get a new comment, I visit their blog and if I don't see any post interesting enough, I come back, but if I do,I make it a point to comment. I think that it helps me in building relationships, especially since I am a newbie.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good point about building relationships. I do like talking with other bloggers and it's not like I don't try to comment - but I guess commenting back just isn't for me. I usually will check out others' blogs though, and like you said, I will comment if I have something to say about a post.
DeleteWith me, I comment back occasionally, but not always. For one, I have a life and sometimes I just can't comment back. And the whole obligation thing makes me feel really guilty about it, when I really shouldn't. With me, I just try to comment back on posts that I will have an actual thought on it, or something to say. For example, if someone has a top ten post and there's not a single book I recognize, why comment?
ReplyDeleteI felt guilty when I first saw the idea of commenting back. I never did it and felt like maybe I was being unappreciative or even mean by not commenting on another person's blog. But I don't want to start feeling like I have to 'pay', in a way, for comments, and I don't want to say nothing in my comments either. It's not helpful for me or the other blogger.
DeleteLike Mishma, I understand where you're coming from, but I strongly believe in commenting back. I don't comment on a post if I don't have something meaningful to say, but I really work at having something meaningful to say. I'll go back a little ways into someone's archive to find something and through practice, I think I've gotten better at pulling little tidbits out of someone's post that are of interest to me and to which I can respond.
ReplyDeleteI don't think of this as payment, but as a dialogue. I won't follow a blogger who doesn't at least occasionally comment on my blog. It doesn't have to be as often as I comment on theirs and it doesn't have to be directly after I comment on theirs, but if we're not in a dialogue and both reading each other's posts, I'm just not interested. There are other bloggers with whom I can have a more meaningful relationship.
It's interesting to me that you won't follow bloggers you don't talk with, or who don't comment sometimes. To me, I follow for the content - not necessarily the bloggers themselves - so I guess that's why we have different feelings about it. I don't care at all whether the bloggers I follow read my posts, although of course I would enjoy their comments and such. I just don't need someone to like my blog or posts, in order to follow them and read theirs.
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